gravity is dicks.

+twenty three
+graphic design student @ VCU


Usher sings a lullaby to Justin Bieber.


When Usher peered into the bedroom of Justin Bieber’s tour bus, Justin Bieber was already asleep.

That’s good, Usher thought to himself, even though he was a little disappointed he didn’t get to see Justin Bieber’s bright smile. He needs his rest before he performs tomorrow.

Justin Bieber looked very young and innocent, curled up in the tour bus bed. His hair was tousled across the pillow and his breathing was slow and steady.

Usher crept into the room, careful not to wake Justin Bieber. He sat down on the edge of the bed, and the soft mattress gave a little under his weight. Justin Bieber shifted in his sleep and sighed (happily, Usher thought).

Usher brushed a few soft strands of hair from Justin Bieber’s forehead. “You say Daddy’s home,” Usher sang quietly, in his softest, warmest voice. “Home for me. And I know you’ve been waiting for this lovin’ all day.”

He placed the palm of his hand gently on Justin Bieber’s head. Justin Bieber smiled a little in his sleep at the touch. Usher smiled too.

oh my god

Method Man gives online dating a try


Sex: Male. Obviously.

Height: Six foot three. Really, he was six foot one, but it never hurt to fib a bit and give yourself a couple extra inches.

Occupation: Rapper? Actor? Rapper-slash-actor?

Method Man wanted to attract as many women as possible. He’d had too many lonely nights, too many single-serving bags of popcorn. Too many repeat viewings of How High. He wanted this OkCupid profile to work.

He needed this OkCupid profile to work.

So. Rapper, actor or both? Yes, he was a popular rapper, but acting was where his heart was. Anyone who had seen The Wackness knew that.

Saying you’re a rapper-slash-actor is sort of pretentious, isn’t it? Whatever. It was true. He typed it in. It looked right.

The next morning, Method Man checked his OkCupid account, saw a little activity but no inbox messages, stared blankly, and met Ghostface at the studio. Method Man didn’t talk about it.